Why I (As A Single Guy) Still Love Valentine’s Day

I’m probably about to write some long-winded opus into the mind of a hopeless romantic which could simply boil down to: “because it certainly doesn’t make me feel any better to wallow in hive-minded misery”.

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when the record skips to the beat of your name

I think the life experience Kim carries UNDER HER SHOES dwarfs most people’s in their entirety.  That being said, I know exactly what this is all about.

Artists I’ve Lost (More or less):

• Tami Chynn
• Rihanna

Thank God it was just these two (and only a few songs).  But I’ve learnt my lesson and vow never to share:

• Foo Fighters
• N*E*R*D
• Wu Tang Clan
• Daft Punk
• Damian Marley
• Nas
• Nat King Cole
• Gnarls Barkley
• OutKast
• The Beatles
• Lupe Fiasco
• Mark Ronson
• The Temptations
• The Drifters

longlivekim:

In college I had a lot of guy friends who dated legitimately crazy girls. Well, maybe they weren’t crazy, they were just young. Either way, they never let them borrow their things. You know, when a girl says, “Can I wear your hoodie?” God forbid one of these wackos left with their sweatshirt on…they’d never go back to get it. It wasn’t worth the trouble.

I was listening to an album the other day that reminded me of someone so much that it hurt. I know, lame, right?

But it’s sort of that way, when you associate music with someone. It’s almost not worth it. You should never associate a band/song that you like with someone you’re involved with. Point and case, when you break up, that jam will gut you every time.

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No Chemicals, No Disasters

Some insight, if I may:

The dating process is probably one of my least favourite things on the planet.  How I’ve done it “successfully” before is beyond me.  You have to get psyched up, mentally, and you’re never exactly who you are when it’s happening.  It’s just all kinds of uncomfortable and I really wish I didn’t have to do it.  More so, it seems to come with an extra side of impossible when you’re a Christian.  Seriously, needles in haystacks.  BUT, time does bring at least one benefit.

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And now, the previously aforementioned story…

You know, the one posted here.

So two days ago, my ex-girlfriend hit me up on Skype.  The very ex-girlfriend who smahsed my heart into pieces a year ago; the one and the same partly responsible for the little quip about my bad luck with girlfriends in the description; the same broad who essentially took many of my “friends” in the settlement.  The very individual I hoped never to hear from again after a blatant disrespect of my name.  She wanted to reconcile.

Now for those of you just tuning in, the background story essentially goes: we met when I was studying in Costa Rica, dated, fell in love and then I had to leave.  We stayed together for four months after I left and then one month after moving to Toronto, she dropped me as our whole relationship had been a lie (on her part, of course) and didn’t speak to me again for about three months plus.  In the interim of this silence, she proceeded to talk smack about me behind my back when our mutual friends and “friends” asked about us (as a matter of fact, this very blog was part of the conflict afterwards).  I caught wind of this then vowed to totally disregard her existence.  I mean, what else does one do after that kind of betrayal?  Skip to the present.  She wanted to reconcile.

So on Saturday, I spent the better part of my day finally able to give her the piece of my mind I’d secretly hoped I’d get to, unleashing a well bottled up fury.  And after about 8 months of silence, she had the nerve to ask me what I wanted her to apologise for.  Surely any reasonable human being can understand where I’m coming from when I told her I was having a hard time taking her seriously when she asked that.  How can I honestly believe she’s remorseful for her actions when she doesn’t even know what hurt me the most (that would be the outright tarnishing of my name).  Furthermore, I was (and am) quite content pushing forward with my life, ocassionally bringing her up as an easy target for badmouthing and as an example of terrible decision making.  How could anyone think that after ignoring me for the better part of a year I’d still want to hear from her?

In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  I know when I’m not respected and you’d better believe I’m not that guy.  You know, the guy who pines after the girl who can’t see far enough past his own nose to know she’s not worth it (Michael Cera’s character in Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist).  In fact, after our last conversation in January (and an undisclosed event or two after that), I was firmly convinced I wanted nothing to do with this dumb trick again.  But it would be just like her to undermine my decision to kill her off in my head.

Fans of our hero will be pleased to know that I stood my ground and plainly told her she needs to go away and her “apology” came too little, too late.  I really don’t need that kind of negativity and falsehood in my life.  And for once in the history of my illustrious, yet tragic, breakups (read: two in a row and counting) I got to come out on top.  And it only took me 10 months of patience to do it.

I don’t get to talk about my romantic life very much (lacking as it is) but it was nice to finally have some pleasant news to share (after 5 hours of arguing with this broad on my good, good Saturday).  Thank you and a pleasant Monday to you :)

I’ve Got a Story…

But it’s 2.30 in the AM and it’s too late to start weaving this odyssean tale.  In the meantime, I’ll give you a hint as to the subject matter.

And I promise, it’s good.

it’s kind of a shame

jesswearsblazers:

when two people click, and then all of a sudden they lose it.  Time, distance, and personality clashes just get in the way.

It’s an even bigger shame when the same two people forget that they even got along in the first place, and only focus on what makes them different.

But what’s the biggest shame of all is when these same two people who originally connected, lost that connection, and moved on from worrying about their loss, move on from each other.

It’s a shame when they’re not really friends anymore.

She’s only seventeen yet, in what I assume was something like a month, my cousin already holds the wisdom it took me about four to realise.  Perhaps it was scale of thousands of miles to a few dozen.

Or perhaps I’m just a little slower in the biggest shame of all.