Oh Canada…

fmylife:

Today, my country thought it was a good idea to represent itself with Avril Lavigne, Hedley, and Nickelback. FML

You’re such jokes.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Toronto and can’t wait to visit Vancouver, but it’ll be nice to be able to make fun of you again once we part ways.

We’d laugh you out of the country

fmylife:

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

Isn’t this from…

fmylife:

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

Season one of Gary Unmarried?  I mean, loosely?

Called You Out, Gen Y

fmylife:

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

I’m equally concerned about us being remembered for deplorable taste in literature.  “Incandescent chests” and “granite lips”; Things Fall Apart that’s not.

fmylife:

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a “present”. He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

I knew a girl in high school who did this (with a hot needle) for her boyfriend.  She was kinda crazy and that relationship was full of ups and downs from the get-go but I hear they’re still together.

NOT F your L

fmylife:

Today, I am sitting in my flat, which has very thin walls. My flatmate decided to practice her recorder (i.e., the annoying, plastic flute from hell). I haven’t heard a recorder for at least 12 years. If you’ve ever heard one before, you’ll know that hearing it again now is way, WAY too soon. FML

Ignoramus.  Immature.  Uncultured heathen.  Dumb broad.

OCAD’s Dinner With Diamond makes FML?

fmylife:

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn’t lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I’m a charity case. FML

Meat is Murder… tasty, TASTY Murder

fmylife:

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating “Meat is Murder”. I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister’s wedding. FML

Cannot STAND this crap.  Please believe if anybody tried this with me, I’d be about ready to bus’ somebody’s head.

Reminds me of this time when I was back in Costa Rica.  This little band of “veggie warriors” decided to take over the school for a week and subsequently the canteen.  They declared Tuesday to be “vegetarian day”.  Meanwhile, I declared it to be the day Paul went out and got a protest t-shirt made (‘Cause I feel so empty without meat, parodying the lyrics from Eminem’s Without Me) and gather some friends up to go eat some Meat Supreme Pizzas.

Memories.

YOU TOO CAN BE KANYE WEST!

fmylife:

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiance and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I’ve spent the last year looking after and having a good time, ‘liking’ the break up. FML

Yo, anonymous FML poster, I’m sad for you and I’mma let you finish but Pam Beesly had one of the best prolonged engagements of all time.

OF ALL TIME.

But seriously, 13 years of engagement?  What up with that?

DJ AM Died Today

FML.

Talk about Final Destination, huh?  Watch your back, Travis Barker.  I’m already pissed off that I won’t be getting anymore wickedsweet Travis Barker x DJ AM mixtapes.  Don’t take away the sweet Travis Barker remixes too.