Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve spent a little over a year working on my debut album (following up on the stage set by The Phoebe EP) and that my Christmas break has been riddled with progress on a number of fronts.  I’ve knocked out the backbones of another 3 or so tracks, written (and written and rewritten) lots of lyrics, locked down some guest features and designed some merch t-shirts.  It’s was a restful and productive break, to say the least, and it has me excited to barrel through with the progress!  Of course, reality has reared its ugly head once more though.

I’ve recently had a chance to take a step back and look into the logistics of putting my album out.  I’ve run most of the numbers, plotted out the dates and sent out a bunch of emails.  The result of my findings?  I’m in WAY over my head and have NO money (although I kinda knew that before).  I’ve managed to keep the personnel on this album close to home and, for the most part, am enlisting the aid of personal friends of mine; both close-personal and new.  And, without namedropping, It’s a humble lineup but a POWERFUL one.  They understand that I have no money and that I’ll eventually compensate them, however, the problem is that I’m a professional and many of these cats are too (as in, music is actually their day-jobs) and I have to respect that.  I want everyone contributing their time and talent to be properly reimbursed and I simply can’t afford that.

In fact, even if they were to all work for free, I still have overheads like mixing, mastering and CD manufacturing to account for.  It’s all really bugging me out because I’m weird about credit.  I never use my credit card unless I actually have the cash and I HATE the feeling of owing money, even when I “know” that it’s guaranteed to come in.  If it’s not in my hands, it doesn’t get spent.  That being said, writing a bunch of IOUs to the talent on the album and maxing out my credit cards on engineers is not even an option; more so because I literally have NO guarantee I can make that money back.

My vision for this album is to own every millisecond of it, the second I drop it, and my dream is to even have a fanbase, of acknowledgeable standing, to anticipate it.  I won’t put out the album until every single contributor has been paid/bartered with (and has signed off on it) and my balance is at $0.00.  That way, the second I put it out, I have nowhere to go but up.  The industry is already such a fickle and shady place that the last thing I want to do is put myself at risk, financially, over a gamble.  This way, it’s equivalent to having a garage sale of my own property.

This is also, clearly, a lesson in faith.  I know that God moves and works in all things, as long as I’m out here doing His will.  If this album is going to come out, it’s going to be because He allows it and WHEN He allows it too.  I’ve fought against the tide before and I lose every time so I refuse to let pride be my undoing again.  It’s also challenging me to work harder to produce the best music I possibly can.  If I’m going to have all this time, lying about, I have no excuse to not be writing 14 BEST songs ever (there, now you know there are 14 tracks).  And I have faith in my product.  Whether I put it out tomorrow or 5 years from now, I’m dropping a beautiful album that will stand the test of time (much like Q-Tip’s Kamaal/The Abstract which was shelved for EIGHT YEARS).

So far, my overhead estimates have me short $3200 before I pay a single person.  Which is a pretty bleak figure.  Although, in perspective of a variety of other figures which require me to have patience, that’s not so bad at all.  So yes.  My music career is now in the hands of time and money.  An uncomfortable position to be in, to say the least, but it’s the only one I’ve got and, with God’s help, I’m determined to make the best of it.