For those of you who have been loitering around these parts for a long time, you’re probably familiar with some of the things that I’ve been blessed to go through in the past four years or so: All the ups and downs I’ve been through since my last days in Costa Rica; the most epic heartbreak imaginable to man; old friends I’ve reconnected with, then friends I’ve lost and new friends I gain almost daily; wisdom and maturity I’ve grown into; development of my crafts and new passions I’ve discovered.  In short, it’s been a wild and tumultuous ride over the past 31 months I’ve been Tumbling.  There’s a point to all this though.

I’m a pretty sociable person.  I don’t know how or why that is, but it’s something I discovered in my mid-late teens and have been running with ever since.  It’s been the reason for many of my greatest triumphs and the reason for many of my greatest upsets too.  Interestingly enough though, for as long as I can remember, I never really grew up around friends my own age.  I mean, I always saw them at school and we hung out on some weekends and over school breaks but, as far as my primary social circles went, the folks who knew me best for a long time were my parents’ friends and other adults.

I don’t know what it was about them (perhaps the sparsity of kids my own age in my neighbourhood combined with the lack of kids my own age in the households of my parents’ friends) but for as long as I can remember, I’ve ALWAYS related to adults much better than many of my own peers.  You know that kid whose vocabulary always leaves adults impressed and, simultaneously, swept up in the cuteness?  That was me for a LONG time.  Now that I think about it, that was probably why I wanted to be a lawyer for such a long time (but that’s another story for another time).

Anyway, another thing I’ve noticed is how much I’ve bounced around between groups of friends.  Not in a way where I was never quite “one of the gang” with different cliques and social circles, but in a way where people have been able to come and go, in and out of my life, as they please, and I’ve been totally adaptable.  However, it wasn’t until relatively recently when I began to actually feel the effects of this.  In times pre-Costa Rica, when the excitement of a friendship with one group fizzled and we started spending time with other people, it wasn’t like we were splitting forever; we’d just be on different ends of campus or the island.  However, when UWC got involved, these friendships became infinitely more personal.  We lived together, ate together, had class together and even fell in love, in rarer cases.  Essentially, in my immaturity, I guess I felt like we’d be friends forever and that intensity would NEVER die.

Pretty stupid, considering we all knew that we’d part ways and scatter across the whole PLANET in two years or less.

Anyway, over the last two years or so, I’ve found myself disappointed in, and occasionally resentful of, some of these friends who seem to have lost the desire to be friends.  It was as if for all the emails, Facebook messages, phone calls and such I would go out of my way to send, I always felt like I was getting neglected.  Furthermore, I knew that a lot of the separation had come as a result of the aforementioned breakup and it made me furious to think that some of these friends had picked her over me (petty, I know).  And, just to clarify, I don’t claim to have made valiant efforts with EVERYONE I was ever close to over there.  I understand that people are busy (as have I been), but 30 seconds to write on someone’s wall isn’t exactly going to halt all progress on someone’s term paper or whatever.  And with that, I would retreat deeper and deeper into my current Toronto life.

Fast forward to earlier this week.  I met up with a new friend of mine just to hang out and grab a “coffee” (neither of us actually got coffee; she got an iced tea and I got a candy cane hot chocolate).  The topic of social circles came up, and it was pretty cool that she was on the same page with friendship-mobility, but then she said something that blew my mind.  It was a quote that went along the lines of: People are constantly seeking to grow and develop, and much of our development comes from the people we surround ourselves with.  When the friends you hang out with change, it’s an indication of the change that’s going on in yourself.

And suddenly the last 3 years of my life made sense.  By that logic (which I believe to be absolutely true), I can now see where my growth as a person, artist, musician, brother, son and Christian has come from.  I also see the correlation with the rate of change in my life, and it’s incredible!

Anyway, now I’m completely at ease with my friendship-mobility.  It’s good to know that I’m moving in the right direction and if I have to let go of some things from the past to do so, I can deal with that.  I’ve let go of the resentment and my immersion into life in the present (and often the future) has become less of a retreat and more of a settlement.

So, to the friends of yesteryear: I hope you all are well; wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with.  We had a good run and if you’re ever in my hood, give a brother a shout.  And to the friends of today: it’s great to be in your company and whether you’re here as of this morning or have been sticking around this whole time, I appreciate you.  We may not be together forever but we’ll be together for as long as it takes.  Then, finally, to friends future: wait til you meet me.  2010 me is good for right now but 20xx me is gonna be AWESOME.  I know I’m pretty pumped about you guys!