This will be a quick post, just for the sake of getting my thoughts out before I forget them.  I have a friend who gives me a hard time about my shyness/reserved nature around girls.  And while I know it’s all in jest (because let’s face it, Akil, you’re from Barbados so I’ve already got an advantage over you), it’s gotten me thinking a lot about our culture’s odd obsession with this “need” to pair off for the sake of happiness.  I’m not sure if I’m doing it right or not but I’ve been single for a long time now (how does the time slip away from me?), yet I’m okay and in no real rush to get back to dating.

Now, there are a few things that should be stated for the purpose of clarity:

• I’m painfully romantic
• My last relationship ended somewhere in the neighbourhood of 2 years ago
• That sucked
• I’ve had brief romantic interests since then
• Those flopped before they got off the ground for one reason or another
• I’m terrible at “the dating game” and I hate the whole process

That being said, I think it’s fairly easy to draw at least one conclusion as to why I’m not exactly enthusiastic about taking the reins again.  It’s not that I’m scared or scarred for life or anything like that; I just haven’t had a particularly incredible experience in dating and relationships that has set me any targets worth aiming for.  Call it romantic apathy, if you will.  Still, it’s not as if I don’t want to date someone again, eventually.  My priorities are just elsewhere in the interim.

So I’d like to know what exactly it is about people that makes us feel like we NEED to have our lives intertwined with someone else’s otherwise we won’t be complete human beings?  The apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 says “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.  But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”  Contextually, this instruction to the Corinthian church was in regards to priorities; if they can at all avoid it, stay unmarried and devoted to Christ as a spouse will be a distraction too, since there’s a God-given obligation there too.  And even if you’re not a Christian, you can’t deny that a significant-other IS a time consuming, expensive, distraction to a lot of other things in your life (but in a good way, I guess)!

That being said, it’s no secret that I’ve got a lot going on.  I’ve been buckling down on school (even more, still) this year, I’ve had 4 pretty epic commissions this semester (three of which were success stories) and I’m allegedly working on my album.  And beyond that I’m still just as poor as ever.  Ultimately, I’m not in the best position to take up dating right now.  It wouldn’t reflect well on the aforementioned priorities and it wouldn’t be fair to the lucky ladies out there (that was a joke; anyone dating me is rather unfortunate).  Still, I refuse to put things in absolutes as I’m no stranger to God’s will sonning mine.  If the right girl were to come around, I’d be kinda foolish to shut that opportunity down.  Obviously, a girl who’s sympathetic to my overly-busy lifestyle, wants to be with me (for whatever deranged reason), loves cheap dates and is a Christian doesn’t come around very often.

So in conclusion: I’m okay with being single (though, not forever) but if there’s a girl out there who will appreciate and enjoy the effort I put into our inexpensive (and however infrequent) “big” dates, then I’ll be around.  You can find me trapped behind my desk, being a good student/designer/musician or whatever.